I have two boys--right now. I will have three and then I will have new observations about my three different boys.
But right now I have two very different little boys.
Rhody and Bo. Rho and Bobo.
They don't look very much alike. They have totally different features and different builds. They do have the same coloring and a similar haircut so they look more like brothers right now.
But I am thinking more of their personalities and temperaments.
Rhody is kind, tender-hearted, quick to smile, loves to laugh, loves baseball, cries easily, scared of dogs and masks, and loves lots of hugs.
Bo is feisty, quick-tempered, funny for his age, likes people to laugh at him, surprisingly sweet with babies, likes baseball (hockey may be more his sport), aggressive, stubborn and fiercely independent.
We went to a playground today with our fun friend Brandon. There was a fireman's pole at the playground. It is about a foot and a half from the ledge of the playground. It requires a child to reach out with their arms and then leap (a little) onto the pole to slide down.
The boys differences were so apparent in this little playground experience.
Brandon went to the pole first. He quickly and easily jumped on the pole and slid down to the ground.
Rhody followed him and stood on the edge and looked at the pole and quickly called for me. I knew he probably would. He started saying, "I can't do it. I need your help."
I came over and talked him through it. Encouraging him and supporting him the first couple of times he jumped onto the pole. He then started saying, "I did it! I did it! All by myself!" (sort of Rhody)
I walked away and they went down the pole several more times.
Then Bo noticed the pole. He went up to the ledge and leaned out to reach the pole with his hands. (I was quickly at the base of the pole) Bo immediately starts yelling at me, "I do it myself Mommy!" I have to convince him to let me just put one hand on his belly while he jumps. He isn't that tall and he can barely reach the pole on his own.
Of course, he doesn't care about any of that. He wants to slide down that pole. The big boys did---so he must! He does learn how to slide pretty quickly. I never felt great about him leaping to the pole without me near.
Rhody left that part of the playground for a little while and then came back to the pole. He got to the ledge and started saying, "I can't do it!" He so quickly forgot how he was just doing that same pole, all by himself. I had to remind him several times that he could do it.
Rhody is not a natural risk taker. He is cautious.
Bo is a born risk taker. Caution is an unfamiliar concept to him.
I am grateful to have both boys. There are good and hard things about both of their personalities. God can use both of them and their given gifts and talents and personalities in huge and different ways!
Sometimes one personality is easier than another. But the goal of parenting is not to have "easy" kids or an "easy" time parenting. (this is me giving myself a pep talk!) I love them so much. I love how different they are. I desperately want to encourage them to be the boys (and then men) that God wants them to be. Not who I want them to be. My selfishness and desire for comfort and ease will get in the way. I might miss something in them because it seems to hard to "control."
Yes, it would be easier if Rhody didn't cry at the drop of a hat. But I can already see a wonderful, tender side to him that I would hate to squelch.
Yes, it would be easier if Bo didn't want to do EVERYTHING on his own. But God could grow him into a wonderful leader one day.
My friend Jenny just said the other day that she has hope in the fact that God is bigger than her parenting skills. I echo that truth. (not about your parenting skills, jenny--about mine!)
This is the best, most rewarding, exhausting, and thrilling job anyone could ever have.
I can't wait to meet my newest little one.
If we could only come up with a name for him.