Who Am I?

So I have been thinking about stuff lately.

Why do I have so much gray hair? When do you use "gray" and when do you spell it "grey?" What's the difference?

Back to my point.

I am quickly approaching the end of my 30's -- in about a year and a half. A lot has happened in my 30's. I had all of my children. I did 2 triathlons. I moved twice. I got lots of gray hair.

You know how people like to sum up decades of our lives with what we learned about ourself during that decade? Well, some people do I guess.

So I think my teens were pretty typical. I was transitioning from being a daughter and sister to being Missy. I was pretty achievement oriented. I was into sports--mainly soccer. I was into school. Making good grades was important to me. Pretty good self confidence. Thought I could do a lot things.

My twenties were all about really figuring out the kind of person I wanted to become. And then try to become that person. I did a lot of ministry with YoungLife. Lots of kids. Met most of my closest friends--including Kyle and Jenny.

Then I turned 30. I had my first baby. And then another and another and another. Did I mention the gray hair?

But another thing that I realized lately. My 30s is also about figuring out what I am NOT. Evidently, I am not a lot of things I thought I was.

I am not as athletic as I thought. Or maybe I should say I am not the athlete that I thought I was. I gotta be honest, when I think back to my teens--I thought I was one of the most athletic girls in school. I was no Karen Warner or anything but I did play varsity soccer as a sophomore. Which means exactly nothing as a 38 year old woman with 4 children and desire to not do anything too physically strenuous.

I am not a "get things done" kind of girl. You know the person I am talking about. When their name is attached to something, you know it will be done well, on time, with no mistakes. The kind of person other people like to put in charge of things. I am usually that person only by default at times or if it involves hair styling skills. I have a few friends like this (Sarah & Rebecca to name of couple) and I am in awe of them. I can blame the kids (which I do at times) but who are we kidding--it's not the kids. The only funny thing is. . .I thought at some point in my life, I WAS the "get things done" girl. Now, if by "get things done" you mean two things, then I might qualify.

Now that I am getting closer to forty, I can not just eat whatever I want and let my fabulous metabolism do its magic--like when I was younger.

Just kidding. I was never that girl with the great metabolism. Not at 23. Not at 18. Not even at 13.

Evidently, I am not a reader, I am not competitive, I am not a great cook, I have no marketable skills (unless a business degree from UT from 1994 when Al Gore had just invented the internet counts).

I am interested in a few things (hair, make up, photography, design--you know, the deep things in life) but master of none.

Don't misunderstand, I am not down on myself. The realization of these things has just hit me lately. The Lord is good. He let me believe for most of my life that I could do almost anything. My Dad helped in that area too. But I can't. Never could. I don't need to be great at everything. I can be awful at somethings. Just not the important things.

Wife and mother and friend. I just need to focus on those things. (But wait, that's more than two things!)

Did I mention that my skin is aging like crazy since Hank was born? That's another whole boring post.